10 Ways To Guarantee Your Failure With Chi Kung

This is a fun post with a serious message. Sometimes it helps to look at the ‘flip side’ of the coin to help get a message across. So instead of this being 10 ways to guarantee your success with Chi Kung, I’ve turned it around. So if you want to succeed with Chi Kung, just do the opposite of the top 10 tips here:

In no particular order I’d like to present the top 10 ways to fail with your Chi Kung practice

  1. Practice Chi Kung Form Only

    Forget that Chi Kung is a composite of Chi Kung Form, Energy/Breathing and Mind. Just focus on the bit you can see, Chi Kung form and ignore the rest. Yes you will look like you are doing Chi Kung, and hardly anybody will be able to tell the difference.

  2. Learn only from Books & Chi Kung DVD’s

    Don’t bother making the effort to find the best teacher of Chi Kung that you can, don’t waste your time, effort and money traveling to learn from them. Forget the sacrifice of spending time away from your family and friends to learn directly from them.

    Why bother when you can pick up a book from the store, or watch a Chi Kung DVD and teach yourself?

  3. Don’t follow Instructions

    If you do have a real live breathing Chi Kung teacher, the quickest way to guarantee failure is to not follow their instructions. If they tell you to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth and you’re not cool with that – forget about it. Do it your way.

    I mean come on, let’s face it, you’re actually doing the teacher a favor by turning up every week, why should you bother following their instructions? The teachers a fool anyway, otherwise they’d know that they could get better results by thinking about their angels, wearing the right crystal, whilst humming the right frequency, tensing, stretching their muscles and visualizing the love of the Buddha’s – whilst practicing Chi Kung.

    Seriously, haven’t they read the book?

  4. Have no idea why you’re practicing

    If you can’t tell me in a sentence or two what benefits you specifically want from your Chi Kung practice in the next 6 months and in the 12 months or so after that – congratulations. You are well on the way to failing with Chi Kung. Keep it up.

  5. Be Tense

    Hey, it’s a stressful world we seem to inhabit. If you really want to fail fast with your Chi Kung exercises then make sure you do them when you are physically, emotionally, mentally and Spiritually tense. Chi finds it really difficult to flow harmoniously when you’re tense – so the tenser you are, the more likely you are to fail with Chi Kung.

  6. Make sure your practice is haphazard.

    Don’t feel like practicing once or twice a day – every day. Excellent you have what it takes to fail with Chi Kung. Practice only when you can be bothered, take a few days off when ever you feel like it and just see how quickly you don’t get any beneficial results from your practice.

  7. Give up

    Hey, come on, you’ve been practicing for a few weeks and nothing’s happened yet? You can’t set fire to cotton wool just by looking at it? You mean you haven’t overcome that illness you’ve had for the last decade? You don’t wake up in a morning feeling ready to jump out of bed – kick ass and take names?

    Clearly Chi Kung doesn’t work and you should give up now. I mean it’s been a few weeks already.

  8. Be Addicted to ‘New’

    Forget about practicing and practicing and practicing the two or three forms you know. Forget about developing the core skills of Chi Kung by practicing, practicing, practicing. No, it’s far more fun and enjoyable to learn new forms, learn new stuff.

    A really good way to fail with Chi Kung is to never scratch the surface of it by constantly moving on to a new form, school or style.

  9. Keep Thinking All the Time

    Similar to #5 – but significantly different if you think about it enough, from enough different angles. Forget about enjoying your Chi Kung and analyze every single movement, every single sensations. Approach Chi Kung as if you were going into a lab and put everything under the microscope of your mind.

    To really speed this one up, don’t just keep thinking about what you’re doing whilst practicing Chi Kung, drag in unfinished business from the day as well. Forget about relaxing and enjoying your practice. Chew on tomorrows meeting instead and what you’re doing. This way you can multi-task whilst doing your practice.

    If you can keep this up for the full 15 minutes of your practice, you are well on the way to falling with Chi Kung.

  10. Distractions

    Nothing says failure like practicing in a really rubbish place. Ideally you’ll choose somewhere noisy, dirty, busy and if you want to fail super fast – you could add dangerous to the list as well.

    If you want to fail with Chi Kung forget about practicing in a place of nature, far from the madding crowd with fresh circulating air. Thats for people who want to succeed with Chi Kung!

Conclusion
It’s not difficult to succeed with Chi Kung, start by doing the opposite of everything mentioned in the list above and you’ll be well on your way.

Bye for now

Marcus

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